WWYD: Use a Coupon on a First Date?
Many who work in a high-rise building have to put up with a strange thing in elevators called the Captivate screen. It’s essentially a mini-monitor that posts short news clips, sports scores, stock quotes, trivia facts and polls. Oh yeah, and there’s lots of advertising.
I found one recent poll outrageously funny. Captivate Network asked readers to vote online regarding, “Would you use a coupon on a first date? Yes or No.”
Over 70% of respondents said no. I wasn’t surprised, but I was also kind of disappointed. Deep down, I wanted to believe people thought it was OK. Queercents readers, what would you do? Would you use a coupon on a first date? Would you ever use a coupon on a date at all?
I must admit even though I’m now Mr. Frugalpants, I have a hard time being bold enough to use a coupon when Zac and I go to dinner. I’m not worried about what Zac would say. He gets a kick out of watching me cut deals, barter and sweet talk (and sometimes not so sweet talk) my way to a bargain. I just worry about how the waiter or waitress will react, or how fellow patrons will respond as well.
I recall using a coupon only once when dining with Zac, and that was at a restaurant where we were regulars. If the restaurant were more crowded, I don’t think I would have had the courage to whip out the coupon.
Yes, I know I should not care about what other people have to say about my own attempts to save money. Frugality is a trait to admire. But does frugality make you look less attractive on a date, and/or like a complete dork to strangers? Does the ritual of dining make you check all thriftiness at the door to ensure you have a nice evening?
Through movies, television, books and magazines, I think we’ve all been conditioned to believe a romantic dinner must come at some cost.
Then again, using a coupon for a movie, or bowling, or some other date-type thing sounds perfectly acceptable, no matter whether it’s the first date or the 100th. But maybe I’m in the minority.
Don’t know Queercents readers… I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!
Absolutely not! Not that coupons can’t be used later on, when you really know each other, but it smacks of stinginess to me. Stinginess of spirit as well as of pocketbook.
Great question! I’d have to say that I probably wouldn’t use a coupon on a first date, but I also don’t like traditional first dates so it’s a bit different. I would however start using them early in the relationship because I have no problem using them in other areas of my life.
Hey, What if you could get the discount directly on your credit card without using a paper coupon at all? Does it matter then if the “date” is “discounted”. Your date wouldn’t even need to know…
I agree with Rhea that using a coupon on a first date comes off as stinginess of spirit. But perhaps there’s another side to the story. I wonder what the perspective of people who said “Yes” would be.
Melissa’s idea is terrific! Some credit cards give you cash back when you make purchases at select restaurants and other places. What other date-type things can you do that gets you a “discount” when you pay with a credit card?
I would use a coupon on a first date. I don’t see how using a coupon would be indicative of stinginess of spirit. And I wouldn’t want to be with someone who would equate amount of money spent with spirit or regard or affection; the sooner I figure that out the less time we both waste. I’d rather put more of my money towards a generous tip (on top of making sure that I tip on the pre-coupon price of the meal) than pay full price for over-priced food, or use the money saved with the coupon to buy a treat or gift later in the evening.
I can totally see both sides to it. Using a coupon doesn’t seem so much stingy, as it seems like you are thinking about something as “uncouth” as money on a date, when you should be so completely smitten that you can think of nothing but the ravishingly beautiful creature sitting across from you. But money is money, so I’d use one if I had an appropriate one. Plus, I’m not the smittenin’ type. Also, I’d make sure to still tip the waitstaff as though I was paying full price.
BTW, I love those screens in elevators. It makes the long ride to the top so much better. Otherwise, you have to stare blankly at the floor numbers as they light up and be careful not to make eye contact. Elevator etiquette is odd, indeed.
First dates are about first impressions. Unless you want to impress your date by demonstrating your use of coupons, don’t make a coupon part of the first impression!
Maybe not for an ‘elegant’ first date, but for a ‘hey let’s go out for pizza and a movie’ type date, I’d definately consider it.
But somewhere around the point where you should start talking about money – somewhere in that grey area where ‘date’ becomes ‘relationship’, then for sure. Don’t put off talking about money either – it’s a major stress point on any relationship and should be discussed several times on the way to coupledom.
I would never use a coupon on a date, and I would also be very put off to see my date do it. Even though I know it doesn’t necessarily make the person cheap, the image of that person sitting at a table clipping loads of coupons gives a cheap image. And then I’d wonder if I’m being taken to a certain place because my date thinks I would enjoy it or if it’s only because he has a coupon. I think some of this mentality applies to acting like the other person is worth the splurge. When the answer looks like a no, it’s off-putting. However, once in a relationship, coupons would make no difference to me. Ultimately, it’s about initial impressions and playing the game. It’s shallow, but it’s safer to abide.
In this week’s Carnival of Ethics, Values and Personal Finance:
http://www.moneysmartlife.com/carnival-of-ethics-values-personal-finance-7
As I’ve gotten older, I’m much less concerned with vanity and the misconceptions that people may have based on “popular opinion.” The simple fact is that by using a coupon on a date, I have more left in my budget to go to a show afterwards, drinks after that and maybe breakfast in the morning ;-). If, instead, I was worried about whether or not someone was going to think I was cheap at dinner and didn’t use my coupon, I might blow my budget early in the evening and have to call it a night just when things were starting to really go well with my date. I believe my date should appreciate a certain amount of frugality. As long as I’m not pinching pennies the whole time and making a big deal out of every expenditure, then it shouldn’t matter to the date either. What should matter is the experience and the time spent together. One way to use coupons on a date is to treat it as an adventure by choosing coupons to restaurants and places you both haven’t been to. Then it’s something you are doing together for the first time and the coupon was just a catalyst to help choose that place.