Queercents

I’ve always found bars socially frustrating. Unlike clubs where you can go dance, there’s not much to do at a bar if you don’t know people and are of a shy disposition.

My friend offered a great, if expensive, way to pick up guys at a bar. If you see some cute guys at a bar, buy a round for everyone. The problem with the direct approach at bars is that of you face rejection and go back to your spot it can look like you’re working your way down the line.

The drink makes you seem generous and gives you something to connect with guys over while not seeming like you’re buying him a drink specifically. Unless I happen to be really low on cash and already well into a binge, I chafe at guys who offer to buy me drinks. I’d rather not feel like I owe anyone. But, if I’m caught in an area effect, then why not enjoy it? Read the rest of this entry »

When I switched from a cruddy old Dodge Neon to my fabulous new Toyota Corolla I was intent on keeping my insurance provider, Progressive. Their customer service was excellent and dealing with them as a company was always pleasant. I paid around $500 a year and thought that was reasonable. However when they found out about the new car my rate skyrocketed to 700 bucks for six months!!!

Progressive’s mistake was that they got greedy. Here are five tips to consider when thinking about Insurance:

You could probably be paying less.

Insurance coverage goes down over time with a clean driving record, but very few companies adjust for that. The advent of the Internet has increased competition between insurance brokers as well so if you’re going by prices you got before 2000 you could really be saving a lot of money. Read the rest of this entry »

When I used to work in customer service it always used to amaze me when people on the phone would walk out to their cars to get their credit cards. These same people were invariably the ones who were calling in to change their number because their last ones were stolen. While it’s easy to chuckle at sometimes obvious mistakes, I recently left my American Express at a McDonalds drive through.

D’oh!

Someone was kind enough to notify me that my card had been stolen by charging $45 worth of gas. This is the second time I’ve had this happen and Bank of America has been (mostly) good about handling it. It’s a big pain in the butt to deal with but I’ve put together some tips and thoughts on how to minimize the impact of credit card theft or even human error.

Read the fine print.

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My first time buying a car was absolute hell. I came on the used car lot to pick up a Toyota and left with a 2000 Dodge Neon, which later became known as the Dodge Death Trap. It was the first car I ever bought with my own credit (such as it was). It was a mostly reliable car, until I finally paid it off by transferring the last of my 14% interest loan to a 0% credit card.

It overheated. Not too badly at first, then just on hot days… or when it rained … or in traffic. The solution was always to pour more coolant into its insatiably hungry engine and keep an eye on the temp. Taking it in to Jiffy Lube for a coolant flush seemed to work for a little while. I put the car in neutral at stop lights and when it got hot vented the heat through floorboards of my car. In the summer.

Finally in 2007, as it was warming up, I’d had enough. Repair was one option but I’d had the car for five years and truthfully hated driving it. Automobile repair is worse than the dentist for me and once a car really starts to break I don’t feel safe driving it. It was time to buy a car. Read the rest of this entry »

There are essentially two kinds of financial dilemmas: happy and unhappy. Unhappy dilemmas are the ones where you have to decide which credit cards you aren’t going to pay so you can keep electricity on in the middle of winter. There are also dilemmas that we still agonize over even though they’re a result of a good situation. An example would be choosing between a driving tour of Tuscany or a cruise to Mykonos.

My happy dilemma came with the tentative decision to purchase an iTouch, a portable wifi device that runs about $300. It’s apparently also some sort of iPod, but who cares? I love the idea that I can access the net anywhere there’s wifi, especially for my upcoming trip to Los Angeles. I intend to eat at some of the newly rated Michelin star restaurants before hitting wine country.

I easily snagged seats at Urasawa, a three-star sushi restaurant. A single Michelin star is considered a great honor, while three set the global standard of excellence. The meal is “exquisite” raves the Gayot reviewer—gold leaf flaked tofu as a starter and sushi so delicate it must be eaten within ten seconds lest the rice warm the fish beyond its optimal temperature for consumption. And it’s one of the only places in the US licensed to serve blowfish; mmmmm sweet, deadly blowfish.

But it comes with a price… about $275 for a single person, without alcohol, tip or tax. Even for a three-star, that’s a lot of clams. My platonic life partner, Russell, normally handles the financials but he recently returned from Europe and felt it out of budget… unless I was willing to pay my own way.

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As a kid, money was my favorite present; preferably cash since I could go out and use it immediately. I could never leave a store with any money left over, probably a lesson I picked up from the old Wheel of Fortune where the contestants had to spend their winnings in Service Merchandise show rooms. The happiness was much anticipated and quickly over.

When I was seventeen my dad gave me a checking account. In spite of the $100 opening deposit that gift didn’t go over so well. It was a smart idea to try and teach his son about managing money, however I saw through it immediately. It was like being given a neck tie, a symbol of the grey oppressive adulthood that lay before me.

That was not the last time I received money from my parents, but those times (especially in college) were rarely cause for celebration. There were a few other times after college (and student loans) I legitimately needed help, but that was nearly four years ago. And still every year like clockwork, the money comes on Christmas, birthday and sometimes even Easter. They’ve been politely offering to buy me a housewarming present from IKEA for the last year.

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I’ve been a big fan of the Sims since the game was released in its original incarnation. For those who don’t know – it’s a simulation game where you micromanage the lives of individual families and people telling them when to go to work, when to use the restroom, what fabulous furniture to buy etc. Just like with real life you have to constantly clean up after yourself or the house becomes filthy.

To make any progress in the game it’s essential to hire the maid. Otherwise your Sim will be too busy scrubbing toilets to brush up on their mechanical skill, or paint their masterpiece. She costs about 10$ per hour and comes daily. With the income you earn in the game the cost is almost minimal—even my college students hire her. That may be pushing the boundaries of reality—I would have spent that money on Zima. But for the cost of my fledgling alcoholism I could have afforded it.

When I finally moved out of my parents’ house my typical cleaning strategy was to ignore it. I’m not terribly concerned with the aesthetics of my surroundings and found I could become quickly inured to almost anything. My visitors were all unconventional young people (or tricks) so I never felt the need to impress anyone by caving to the patriarchal hegemony of modern domesticity. Every so often I would lose something important and go on a crazed rampage—not resting until I could see my own carpet. Read the rest of this entry »

In this series on tipping we’ve covered everything from the tip on outrageously expensive wine to the hair splitting minutia of tipping on tax. I learned that you’re supposed to tip in hotels. And perhaps most importantly we laid to rest the tired stereotype that lesbians are worse tippers (unless they’re in a bar). However there are still some loose ends that need addressing.

Exotic Dancers

Just like servers they are professionals who live off of tips. If you’re going to enjoy the show it’s only polite to bring some singles. Having a lot of money in hand ensures prompt “attention”.

When I was studying to be a sex researcher I taught to have respect for people who worked in “the industry” and not to exploit or objectify anyone. I found myself at a male strip bar when I had no cash and decided the only courteous thing to do was not look in the direction of the entertainers. Ironically this drew more attention than just sitting there and I got rubbed on by one of the dancers– as I protested that I was unable to compensate them. He didn’t seem to mind.

Hair Dressers

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Tipping at hotels was a surprising thing to research for this series. I travel quite a bit both domestically and abroad and always thought I knew the ins and outs of the business. Obviously you tip the bellman if he takes the bags to your room and leave something for the room service if it isn’t included. But I learned that some people also consider it customary to tip the concierge, maids and doormen as well.

I don’t have any problem managing my luggage so I’ve never tipped for bellman service, but I always thought a couple bucks was standard. Well it turns out I may be way off base. Tipping.org lists a standard tip for the bellman around somewhere between $5 and $10. Much higher than I would have thought, but a dollar tip doesn’t go very far anymore apparently. Some other sites put the figure around a dollar per bag, but bump it up if he actually prepares your room and shows you amenities.

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So you’ve decided to take the plunge and upgrade to a premium online dating service. The main value of a paid dating site is that you’re meeting people who are financially motivated (by membership costs) to find a serious relationship, or at least date. There are also other features like compatibility matching or safety features. Here’s how to get the most bang for your buck.

Do the research. Check with the Better Business Bureau and read complaints if you can find them. You can also email the sites about their success rate, though be prepared to take their answers with a grain of salt. Alexa traffic is another great resource that lest you see how many hits a particular site gets. There are a lot of sites for gay dating out there that just don’t get much traffic. Primarily straight dating sites may do well on traffic but have very few gay subscribers, so make sure there’s enough singles for you to date. If you can’t tell with a basic search, email their customer service.

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