Queercents

Okay. I have been avoiding these “Sleeping With Money” posts because I was in the closet about something. I’m dating a lawyer. A corporate litigator, no less. I was in the closet partially because this seems to clash with my radical hippy tightwad version of myself ; and because money with us is hard and complicated. Really, it’s the only thing that is hard and complicated.

I mostly haven’t dated people who have jobs, stick with one job or make more than nine dollars an hour. I usually liked the interesting, slightly messed up creative types like me. Early this year I completely gave up on finding Ms. or Mr. Right. I thought I’d just have a baby by myself some day and my friends had decided I must not be attracted to people who are “worthy” of me. I decided the only person I would consider dating is Ellen Degeneres (if she broke it off with Portia). I wanted someone funny, kind and financially stable. I figured I was asking for the moon in that respect so I mused that I would BECOME FAMOUS instead of having a simple life and I set out to do so. Read the rest of this entry »

The holidays are upon us and I didn’t get an engagement ring for Chanukah. I mean, I wasn’t really expecting one, I can give that another six months at least. Still, the holidays always seem like such a magical time to pop the question. Of course, being as femme and disgustingly traditional as I am, I need the question popped to me. So I’m thinking about the options my sweetie and I have when that time comes.

In Bill’s informative article on the history of diamond rings, he urges we queers to refrain from buying diamonds for our engagements and weddings. His reasons are numerous and the most concerning is the human-rights travesty of Blood-Diamonds. But if you need to buy a ring and you think it may have to be a diamond, I’m about to present you with some viable, fair and sustainable options including blood-free ! Oh, plus most of them are cheaper than the original!

1. Conflict-Free Diamonds. Also known as “Canadian Diamonds” Hey, at least here we’re shopping just slightly more ‘locally’. Read the rest of this entry »

This week on Femme Economics: My three favorite beauty investments, all with a new twist. Gentle reminders of what you should already know. If you are slacking in these areas, you could make it a holiday present to yourself to step it up for beauty and health.

Beauty Investment #1:

Sunscreen. Yes. Even this winter! Those UV rays still get through those clouds. There are more options to choose from than ever. Non-chemical ones (using zinc and other minerals to physically block the sun) to ones which will absolutely not clog the pores of oily skin. Sunblock mixed into your regular moisturizing brand too! Cancer is not very sexy. SPF 15 or more should go on your face every single morning. While you’re at it, don’t forget to rub it on the back of your hands to prevent sun spots like grandma’s. Keep a more oily sunscreen in the car as your hand lotion for the backs of your hands during your commute. Saves you money on wrinkle cream and medical bills in the future! Read the rest of this entry »

Our vacuum cleaner really stinks. Literally. It smells bad, probably because it is old and cheap and the dog sheds non-stop. No matter how many changes of the vacuum bag, something in it’s mechanical parts still smells like burning hair.

So the other day I’m in our “local big store,” Fred Meyer, and I meander myself and my girlfriend over to the uprights. This is sparkly to me. I have always wanted my very own newvacuum cleaner. I imagine myself in curlers, sporting an apron and wielding my attachments (short, long, pointed, slanted, bristles!) This is very kinky for me. A woman is being helped by a sales assistant. I borrow him from her for a moment. They are out of the canister vac I am looking at. 

The shopper says, looking up at me, “This one is the best.” She is fondling her Hoover Wind Tunnel.

I say, “Yes, that’s the one I would love to have, but it is so expensive.”  In my world, $175 on sale is expensive. Read the rest of this entry »

After I posted on Hair Color at Home, our Queercents Fearless Leader, Nina, wondered what I had to say on Waxing at Home! Well, though I implored you to color your own hair, my feelings on this other D.I.Y. beauty ritual are quite the opposite! I don’t wax at home. Why? The hassle and time are not worth the savings and the quality job a professional does is important to me. Below are some thrifty reasons you may choose to ignore my advice.

I’ll come out about what I get waxed: upper lip and bikini area (sometimes extreme!). The brows and chin hairs (Yes, I’m a Hairy Jew!) I choose to pluck myself because in this case, two seconds of the esthetician’s time is not worth my $14. Read the rest of this entry »

For most people, a salon hair-dye job is the last thing to go when tightening a budget. Those of us with varied forms of Vanity Disorder (VD) would rather give up a daily coffee than a monthly visit to the hair-doctor. When I was 20, I had a new shade of pink hair every month. I wrote a song called Cut and Color about how brilliant my stylist was. Better than therapy. But these days I have car payments and school loans; so last year I started dying my own hair. I was terrified to try it, but I am pleasantly surprised by the results. And I saved over $450 in a year.

Always on the green and healthy side, I recommend Natrutint (from Spain) and Herbatint (From England) which are non-henna vegetable dyes in a plethora of colors. Read the rest of this entry »

Homebirthing is popular these days, but for lesbian and transgendered couples who are likely to be less financially solvent and less likely to have great family medical insurance, this is an even greater trend. Add to the mix the fact that midwives are much more used to serving same-sex couples than the staff at a hospital might be.

At-home birth with a midwife not only lowers the chances of some complications during birth, a lower risk of post-birth infection, and has a lower cesarian section delivery rate, there is another great reason to birth at home: It’s cheaper. Much cheaper. In fact, sometimes a third of the cost of hospital birth and allopathic care. Read the rest of this entry »

Never buy perfume or cologne again.

I love to teach people how to enjoy cosmetics without contributing to the destruction of the planet. I also love to convince people why they should stop putting chemical-filled cosmetics and toiletries on thier skin. Unfortunately, I do have one habit which I haven’t kicked. Perfume.

I love smells, the associations with smells. Part of the “high-femme drag” of my particular performance of gender includes “wafting” in and our of rooms and smelling myself when I toss arm in the heat of conversation. But good perfume, aside from being unhealthy and hated by some sensitive noses, is the most expensive cosmetic. Read the rest of this entry »

Wanting to bulk up your wardrobe or change your style? Consider changing your ways over to some very frugal fashion options. Sure, Old Navy is affordable, but their labor practices suck and you will wind up looking like everyone else walking the street. Yawn.

Thrifting:

Some rich people have “personal shoppers.” I have a “Personal Thrift Shopper.” I trade my Life Coaching services with Jen so that she will spend some of her weekly thrift and consignment shopping time looking for things I would like. Quite frankly, as much as I love shopping, I do not believe in buying new clothing when there are so many great items that have been slightly worn. I do not want to contribute to wasteful mass-production, or unfair labor. I also have eclectic and expensive tastes which I could not otherwise afford. There is the Goodwill, Theater Thrift Stores (old theater clothing), and trendy stores which mix the old and the new. Read the rest of this entry »

Oh, how this wannabe housewife loves to write lists. This week in Femme Economics, I have another list of helpful hints that will save your purse and the environment and still keep you and the “Shirt” you love looking good!

I just spent fifty dollars on dry cleaning. Fortunately, I have figured out how to do this only once a year.

1. Re-wear. If an item is not food-stained or particularly stinky, surprise- you don’t have to wash it! You can chalk this up to my years as a hippy feminist, but it will save money on water, detergent and will make your clothes last so much longer! Repetitive washing and drying strips items of their fibers, making them easier to rip and tear. You will just be doing less laundry this way. Lint-roll it and… Read the rest of this entry »