Queercents

Sometimes I think if I am confused and concerned by what little legal protections are available to me and my partner, I can only imagine how stressful it must be for LGBT couples with kids. Every time I hear a news story about this or that legal disaster that befalls a gay or lesbian couple who has kids it makes my head spin.

I recently received a copy of the book “Wear Clean Underwear” by Alexis Martin Neely. It is described as a “A Fast, Fun, Friendly - and Essential - Guide to Legal Planning for Busy Parents” and endorsed by a number of people I respect. While it is not specifically geared toward the LGBT family, in many of the examples the author does not assume parents are (or can be) married. And, you have to love her preface of terminology:

If you are in an unmarried relationship, either by choice or because the law does not allow your marriage, please know that I respect your circumstances, and substitute the word “partner,” “ex-spouse,” “life partner,” “baby-daddy,” “baby-mama,” or whatever other term you use, where appropriate.

Wow - validation in a mainstream book. That always makes my heart sing!

One concept I liked right off the bat was her re-framing of the notion of estate planning. Read the rest of this entry »

“It is not only fine feathers that make fine birds.” – Aesop

Back in January, there was a captivating profile in Fortune Magazine about Melinda Gates, power philanthropist and wife of Bill. The article noted their plan to give away 95% of their wealth in their lifetimes and when asked how much they will leave their children, Melinda indicated they will follow Warren Buffett’s philosophy: “A very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing.”

Fortune has written about this at least once before. Back in 1986 to be precise. I’m surprised they even had this one online instead of in the library basement where articles of old can only be found on microfiche. But here it is in living link color.

Buffett does not believe that it is wise to bequeath great wealth and plans to give most of his money to his charitable foundation. Having put his two sons and a daughter through college, the Omaha investor contents himself with giving them several thousand dollars each at Christmas. Beyond that, says daughter Susan, 33, “If I write my dad a check for $20, he cashes it.” Read the rest of this entry »

“A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.” – Mark Twain

Over the weekend, my new Hollywood insider, Bronson Page tipped me off that Heath Ledger’s will named his parents and sister without any mention of Michelle Williams and their daughter, Matilda. How could that be? Well, he never updated his will while he was with Michelle.

Heather Ledger’s will was written and filed in 2003 before his relationship with Michelle Williams and the 2005 birth of their daughter Matilda Rose, New York’s Daily News reports. The actor’s will had not been updated before his death.

The documents go on to reveal that Ledger had less than $145,000 in New York assets at the time, including a $25,000 Toyota Prius and $20,000 in furniture and fixtures.

His greater wealth now is uncertain. It’s rumored his estate is worth $20 million after earnings from the latest Batman movie are calculated. No joker there. Read the rest of this entry »

There are laws that protect people from salespeople who work at funeral homes and cemeteries. Lawmakers recognized that during a time of grief, people are unusually susceptible to manipulations that result in overspending that can leave the deceased’s loved ones in debt.

When it comes to step-family or family members, however, there is no protection. In my case, it was my mother’s 2nd husband (let’s call him Rick for now…I’ll explain later) who manipulated my grief, tricked me into obligating myself, and then refused to pay the bill.

In short, I’m in debt close to $7,500. My mother had shown me her Will that clearly stated he would pay for funeral expenses. When we were discussing her funeral arrangements he approved every detail and then asked me to help him “set things up.” Read the rest of this entry »

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” – Mark Twain

Our neighbor, Betty died recently. She was a lovely woman and reminded us of an aging Hollywood starlet. She was in her eighties, never had any children and was widowed several years ago. Unfortunately, she had been sick for over a year and her executor (a former neighbor) had arranged for round-the-clock health care to be provided in her home.

Jeanine and I were impressed that 1. She had the means to stay in her home and pay for long term care, and 2. She obviously planned for her death while she was still healthy. We also have bets on if the gay nephew will get the house. I’m sure Betty had it all worked out. She seemed organized about her affairs. Read the rest of this entry »