It’s hard to believe nobody has yet written about the ‘œSugar’ dynamic on our Queercents ‘œSleeping with Money’ column. It’s dirty work, but somebody has to do it. Fortunately, I’m a very dirty girl.

If you follow QC, you may know that I had a stint as a stripper. You may not know that I have also been a professional dominatrix. These items make me predisposed to both knowing about ‘œSugar daddies/mamas’ as a sexual fetishsugar babies.jpg and just plain having more money than my partners and therefore being forced into this position on a more mundane level.

When in the sex work industry, I had more money than I make now focusing on my writing, music and Life Coaching practice. My clients were mostly straight white wealthy men, but my dates in personal life were artistic lesbians and transgendered men: usually poets. Mostly in between real jobs! Because of discriminating tastes and social drive, I became the Sugar Mama. I payed for shows and food and trips if I wanted someone to go with me. My lovers would often in turn fetishize the situation into our own sexual drama so that they were being ‘œrewarded’ by me for good behavior. That was hot- for a few years. Then, it was just expensive.

I’m finally not opposed to the idea of dating an L-Word Helena sometime. I have had enough of a past as a Sugar Mama to tell you I never want to do it again.

I asked a good friend if I was a bad person for enjoying the idea of dating someone who is not afraid to spend money. Am I a sell-out former anti-capitalist. I mean, I write for a financial blog now too? She reminded me that sometimes, and to a certain extent, money does allow for certain freedoms- like the freedom to say yes to more joyful experiences and not have them bogged down by financial worry. Romance is too precious to fight over how much to spend on a first date!