‘œLove makes a family.’ ‘“ Gigi Kaeser

Gay ParentsIt is estimated that at least six million children in the U.S. have LGBT parents. According to the National Center for Lesbian Rights, ‘œStudies have shown that on average, same-sex parents with children earn $10,000 less than married couples with children.’

At Mombian, the lesbian parenting blog, Dana Rudolph directed me to new studies from the Williams Institute at UCLA with findings that show same-sex parents in three states (Illinois, Michigan and Rhode Island) have ‘˜significantly’ lower median incomes than opposite-sex married people. She also notes that, ‘œSame-sex parents in those states are also less likely than married parents to own their homes.’

In Bryan Ochalla’s analysis at GayWired.com, he asks, ‘œExactly how were same-sex couples raising children in these states found to be at an economical disadvantage compared to their straight counterparts?’ He cites stats from the study on median income and gay & lesbian parents come up short in all three places.

Why do you think that is? Rudolph gives her thoughts. Time magazine columnist, Po Bronson has his ideas about the plight of gay and lesbian parents and I thought it was quite interesting.

On his website, he writes, ‘œI know when people say ‘˜gay family,’ the picture that pops into our heads is two men, in their mid-thirties, living in San Francisco, proudly toting their newly adopted baby. But if that is the only image we ever think about when we discuss gay marriage or same-sex couples raising children, then I’m afraid we could all be missing the Big Picture.’

Bronson continues, ‘œBecause while there are couples like that out there, they aren’t representative of gay families in the U.S. today. The real poster child for a gay family isn’t that baby. Instead, it’s a kid who probably lives in the Deep South. His mom and dad got married too young, but everything seemed okay for a while, until . . . things slowly unraveled. Finally, his mom came out, and his parents got a divorce. Now, Mom’s got a girlfriend ‘“ and it seems like there isn’t another gay couple in the county.’

He then points to these numbers: ‘œThe estimated number of lesbian and gay parents who have had children during prior opposite-sex relationships is between 3 and 5 million.’

And then concludes: ‘œMost of the children with lesbian or gay parents were conceived in the context of a heterosexual relationship. Many may have lived with both their heterosexual parents for at least the first few years of their lives. If the lesbian or gay parent decides to ‘˜come out,’ the couple may divorce, but continue to share child-rearing responsibilities.’

Based on the number of lesbian couples sitting in the waiting room of our fertility specialist, I have to believe that Bronson conclusions will change with time. We know a lot of lesbians and gay men with children that came from their same-sex relationship. But academic studies are interesting and the findings are a bit like those that use the Bible to make a point. You can make it say whatever you want it to say. That’s what interpretation is all about.

So what do you think? Do a mental ‘œstudy’ and tell us your findings when you examine the lives of your gay and lesbian friends with children. Are they living as well as their straight friends and neighbors? If so, then why do the studies state otherwise. If not, then what’s causing the gap? Please feel free to comment below.