‘œThe perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!’ ‘“ Charles N. Barnard

Save money ChristmasWhen Jeanine and I try to cut corners and save money, it typically is a disaster. Like the time we canceled our cleaning service at the house. This money-saving experiment lasted about two minutes and the ironic part of the story was that the new cleaning service ended up costing us $10 more a week than the old one. So much for saving money’¦ but we have a clean home for $160 a month. Even the cat is happy.

So this year with all the baby-making expenses, we decided to try Home Depot to save a few yuletide bucks on our Christmas tree. What a fiasco! For over a decade, Jeanine has gone to the same high-end Newport Beach Christmas tree lot. They play music, serve coffee, and have buff and hunky men to help lug and load it on our car.

Home Depot has none of this. But you’ll save 20 bucks. A Noble Fir is $39.99 at Home Depot. The equivalent size tree at our super high-end Newport lot is $59.99.

Here’s how it went. We drove to Home Depot on Saturday afternoon and the parking lot was a nightmare because it was a Saturday and the height of shopping season. We had to park and walk what seemed like a football field to get to the outdoor nursery section. Once inside the gates, we were on our own. Most of the trees were still wrapped with twine and one of the workers handed us garden clippers and said, ‘œKnock yourself out!’ If we wanted to peruse the area for the best option, then it was up to us to clip and unravel the twine from each tree. Where were the hunky boys to help? Where was the Christmas music? The piping hot coffee? Not at Home Depot.

We finally found one we liked and I dragged it over to the line where Jeanine asked one of the associates if they would put on the stand for us. We had brought our own. It’s the kind requiring you to drill a hole in the bottom of the tree and then hammer it in. Home Depot doesn’t do this. But he said it was easy and we could do it at home with a hammer. Yeah, right. We own a hammer, but we’re drill-less lesbians. It takes a drill.

I looked around and saw people struggling to get their trees on top of their SUV’s. I turned to Jeanine and asked, ‘œIs this worth saving 20 bucks?’ She laughed and questioned how hard it would be to drag the tree across a parking lot that we already knew seemed the length of a football field.

With that we pushed the tree aside and drove to our super high-end Newport lot. The air was festive; people were sipping coffee and laughing with seasonal joy as they paid for their overpriced trees. We gladly paid $59.99 for ours. The tree stand was intact and we tipped the hunk $5 to carry, load and tie it on top of the Volvo.

When is it worth saving money? When is it not? You tell me’¦