The holidays are upon us and I didn’t get an engagement ring for Chanukah. I mean, I wasn’t really expecting one, I can give that another six months at least. Still, the holidays always seem like such a magical time to pop the question. Of course, being as femme and disgustingly traditional as I am, I need the question popped to me. So I’m thinking about the options my sweetie and I have when that time comes.

In Bill’s informative article on the history of diamond rings, he urges we queers to refrain from buying diamonds for our engagements and weddings. His reasons are numerous and the most concerning is the human-rights travesty of Blood-Diamonds. But if you need to buy a ring and you think it may have to be a diamond, I’m about to present you with some viable, fair and sustainable options including blood-free ! Oh, plus most of them are cheaper than the original!

1. Conflict-Free Diamonds. Also known as ‘œCanadian Diamonds’ Hey, at least here we’re shopping just slightly more ‘˜locally’. You can find these under a search online in places such as Brilliant Earth or call around to your local stores and ask if they carry Canadian ‘œconflict free’ diamonds. Canadian mines follow strict human rights laws of Canada and the US and are the only ones we can truly be sure aren’t the product of African socio-economic conflicts. (Price range comparable too but sometimes more expensive than over-seas diamonds).

2. Man-made Diamonds. These are ‘œgrown in labs’ and can scientifically be called REAL diamonds, though it didn’t take the earth thousands of years to grow them. They look, sparkle and cut like any other diamond. The nerd in me really loved this article on how synthetic diamonds are created. It does seem that the only down-side to this option is that it really does take a lot of energy to cultivate new diamonds. Many places online carry them, and jewelery stores have begun to carry them too. Ask around. (Often much less expensive.)

3. Vintage Diamonds, Darling! This is my personal favorite, since I am for all things used decades ago! Vintage men’s rings used to be SO much cooler than the plain old things you see today. A vintage band is sure to please the femme fag in your life. Can you say ‘œArt Deco?’ You can find vintage diamonds online at stores like this one . Or buy these at an upscale consignment boutique, vintage shoppe or estate sale. Shop carefully and do a lot of comparison. Like any other antiques, people often ask way too much. Get the right dealer and you are a winner. (Definitely a much less expensive option in most cases. Get more karat for your money with this one.) *But be careful as many of the online stores sell ‘œknock-offs’ of vintage styles which will have blood diamonds in them. Be sure to ask the year and designer. The selection should be differently sized and vary greatly in price.

4. Pawn Shop Bling. If the old styles just aren’t your thing, you can get a great deal on a used ring at a pawn shop or a small eclectic jeweler. Don’t be ashamed! This is the one place where you can get a contemporary style for half the price and not be directly contributing to the diamond conflict. You can pick out what you want and then get it cleaned and sized at a regular jeweler and put in a fancy box! Engagement Rings are like cars that way, they depreciate once they leave the retail store.