Queercents

I have to say years ago when a colleague kept pushing me to network more I was so resistant. Even though I didn’t like the jobs or career I was in I didn’t see the connection. I always had a gut feel that equated networking with undesirable things (for me) like politics and sales in the used car salesman vein. It reminded me of all those years growing up where I was never popular, struggled fitting in, and seemed to experience rejection from my school peers on an almost daily basis. Certainly not an inspiring picture. It didn’t exactly have me clamoring to print a business card and head out the door.

What I’ve since learned now that I am a business owner is that networking isn’t any of that. Well, in some circles it still is…a flurry of desperate people trying to hand out as many business cards as possible. However, effective long term networking that matters isn’t that at all. It is about being open and creating relationships.

This morning I had the pleasure of listening to productivity expert Neen James speak on the topic of sales. She’s a lively Aussie who is known for her energetic presentation style. She started the presentation by throwing the old model of selling into the rubbish. “It is not about closing the sale. It is about opening a relationship.” As I’ve come to learn business success is all about relationships. Sure you need to deliver the goods (product or service), but you need good relationships if you are going to be successful over the long haul. Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes I think if I am confused and concerned by what little legal protections are available to me and my partner, I can only imagine how stressful it must be for LGBT couples with kids. Every time I hear a news story about this or that legal disaster that befalls a gay or lesbian couple who has kids it makes my head spin.

I recently received a copy of the book “Wear Clean Underwear” by Alexis Martin Neely. It is described as a “A Fast, Fun, Friendly - and Essential - Guide to Legal Planning for Busy Parents” and endorsed by a number of people I respect. While it is not specifically geared toward the LGBT family, in many of the examples the author does not assume parents are (or can be) married. And, you have to love her preface of terminology:

If you are in an unmarried relationship, either by choice or because the law does not allow your marriage, please know that I respect your circumstances, and substitute the word “partner,” “ex-spouse,” “life partner,” “baby-daddy,” “baby-mama,” or whatever other term you use, where appropriate.

Wow - validation in a mainstream book. That always makes my heart sing!

One concept I liked right off the bat was her re-framing of the notion of estate planning. Read the rest of this entry »

I can’t help myself. I am so excited about the new audio product I just released that I am dying to share it with the Queercents community.

Are You Struggling With Living a Truly Authentic Life?

As a lesbian does living fully and standing in your truth leave you conflicted or scared?

It’s time for that to change.

Starting right here. Right now. You do not need to be a prisoner to your fears about how you “should” live your life anymore.

That applies to your career, your finances, and your personal life. If the shoe doesn’t fit, for goodness sakes how long are you going to go around limping in a size 5 stiletto if you are really more like a size 10 Doc Martin kinda gal? I know firsthand. I’ve been there — in jobs that don’t fit and in situations that made me scratch my head. I’ve felt like I didn’t fit into my own life and that is a very painful place to be.

That’s why it is my passion to help others, especially lesbians break free of this self-imposed prison. Read the rest of this entry »

Now that the economy is even tighter, gas is obscenely costly, and everything from milk to repair service has shot through the roof will you tip people less in an attempt to pinch a penny? Over the past months, Mike did an extended series on Tipping Etiquette which was enlightening and fun. I recently heard on the news that people who depend on tips for their livelihood are really feeling the pinch. I wondered about that and wanted to learn more.

According to the Pensacola News Journal their article “Economy takes bite out of servers’ tips” says:

Even in the best of times, workers who depend on tips for a substantial part of their income - food servers, bartenders, cab drivers and hairdressers often struggle to keep afloat.
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But as gas prices, food prices and retail prices attest, these are far from the best of times. Folks are holding tighter to their wallets as the economy gets rockier.

Just ask your favorite waiter or waitress.

“Average tips used to be 15 (percent) to 20 percent (of the bill),” said Linzy Butcher, 19, a waitress at two area restaurants - Ollie’s Neighborhood Grill in Milton and TGI Friday’s in Pensacola. “Lately, it’s like 12 percent. People tip a little bit less.”

If you think about it, that is like an instant 3-7% decrease in salary at a time where the cost of everything is rising. Of course that’s not the only factor at play. As prices go up, you are typically calculating your tip on the grand total which is most likely higher now than just one year ago. Read the rest of this entry »

With all the Earth Day events this past week, the topic of making green choices is all over the news. The benefits of going green are numerous, but can you afford it and are you willing to make the choices so necessary to literally save our planet and save ourselves?

The first decision has to do with your willingness. Do you care about your environmental footprint and the future of the planet beyond today and perhaps even beyond your own lifetime? And, if so, are you willing to do your part to ensure the future generations of humans and creatures have a sustainable and healthy place to live their lives? It really does boil down to that. The bottom line is that we are all connected and what one person does has a ripple effect across the planet.

I get a lot of snarky comments from family on this topic. No matter how much I love them, though the argument “Well I’ll be dead long before that [insert global warming of 2 degrees, melting of all the glaciers, or any other deplorable possibility] happens” doesn’t cut it with me. It is a cop out of epic proportions. Read the rest of this entry »

Today is Tax Day in the US. Whether you procrastinated or filed early, tax season is ripe with opportunities to be reminded how we, as gays and lesbians are second class citizens in the eyes of the law. Bottom line - we pay more than our straight counterparts. In my opinion, this alone is a reason for supporting gay marriage (or at least some legal equivalent).

I was shocked and pleased to see that CNN brought this very disparity to light this week in their article “Gay Couples Face Higher Tax Bills”:

Most states ban gay marriage and don’t recognize same-sex unions in any way. Only in Massachusetts can gay couples legally marry. Since 1997, nine other states and Washington D.C. started offering civil unions or domestic partnerships that give some or all the legal protections of marriage.

Those protections include allowing gay couples to file state taxes jointly — and potentially save them money. But they can also make tax filing more complicated for the couples.

That’s because the state protections do not help with federal taxes. Under the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, the government defines marriage as being allowed only between a man and a woman.

“You’re running one household,” said John Traier, a partner in the Butler, New Jersey, accounting firm Hammond & Traier. “But the federal government and a lot of states treat them as two households.”

When it comes to tax time the issues are plentiful. Read the rest of this entry »

Letting go is such a misunderstood term. It just rings with feelings of so much loss for so many of us. No wonder we’re fearful of doing it - I mean who wants to feel like that?

Yet letting go is one of the most important tools you can have for creating a great life, not taking things personally (especially in business), building wealth, and feeling comfortable in your own skin.

Each spring we often launch into big spring cleaning at the house. We move the couches, clear out the cobwebs and dust bunnies, clean the carpets, tidy up the yard… you get the picture. We launch into action in our physical surroundings which is great, but it is not the whole picture.

What about letting go and spring cleaning inside and out? How often do you consciously clear the cobwebs from your emotional world, your schedule, and your relationships? What about reviewing your financial situation and letting go of the expenses and money drains that don’t really serve you? My guess is not often enough. I say that because I speak from experience! Read the rest of this entry »

Every person has a money story. You can tell whether your money story is empowering or disempowering simply by observing how much struggle (or lack thereof) you experience in the financial areas of your life. I believe the current recession we are experiencing will only serve to magnify each person’s current mindset. After all times of higher stress always serve to separate the pack.

At all times your finances are the result of your money mindset and are a reflection of your personal relationship with money. This fact holds true whether you earn millions or minimally. Money is like a mirror into our beliefs and thought patterns.

Dana at Financial Independence for Everyday People puts it this way:

Your money mindset boils down to two pairs of emotions: fear/opportunity and scarcity/abundance. I like to use teeter-totters to illustrate the trade-offs between different alternatives.

When we feel fear we contract. That means we close off to possibility and opportunity. Right now I see so much fear as people talk about the recession and the media goes wild with its panic-inducing coverage that people are closing themselves off to what could be possible. For instance, the minute someone declares that the economy is in tough times, people start milling around and shifting their conversations to what they can’t do. I can’t go on vacation. I can’t afford gas. I can’t afford to hire you right now. I can’t afford to invest in myself until I have the money. I can’t, I can’t I can’t. Well, what you focus on expands.

Now I’m not saying the answer is to spend wildly and make the situation worse by getting knee deep in debt. Read the rest of this entry »

Ever since I wrote about Recession Proofing Your Mind I’ve been thinking more and more about this whole concept of recession, how it affects my business, and the impact it is having on millions of others. As media and water cooler conversations water the seeds of panic, I was thrilled to death to see Suze Orman on The Oprah Show once again, this time giving “emergency financial advice”. She said people should not be worried, they should be concerned. Her explanation of a recession was the best I’ve ever heard.(I’m paraphrasing here…)

Suze explained that a recession is simply a contraction. Much like we breathe in (expand) and out (contract) in order to have life, the same holds true for money and the economy. At different times throughout history (and approximately 4 times since 1980) we simply go through a period of contraction where there is less of everything for everyone: less money, less jobs, less capital appreciation, etc. Following that contraction we often experience great periods of expansion. What she offered up is that it is a fine time for a reality check - that is for each of us to ask “Where in my life have I expanded when I should have contracted?”

It is so natural that the minute we have some success - a little added cash flow, get a raise, fall into a lump sum - we tend to want to spend it. We feel we deserve it and we want to celebrate our success, so why not? That is part of the problem that has gotten us to where so many people are right now - in a financial emergency. We expand instead of contract. Read the rest of this entry »

Every person has a money story. You can tell whether your money story is empowering or disempowering simply by observing how much struggle (or lack thereof) you experience in the financial areas of your life. I believe the current recession we are experiencing will only serve to magnify each person’s current mindset. After all times of higher stress always serve to separate the pack.

At all times your finances are the result of your money mindset and are a reflection of your personal relationship with money. This fact holds true whether you earn millions or minimally. Money is like a mirror into our beliefs and thought patterns.

Dana at Financial Independence for Everyday People puts it this way:

Your money mindset boils down to two pairs of emotions: fear/opportunity and scarcity/abundance. I like to use teeter-totters to illustrate the trade-offs between different alternatives.

When we feel fear we contract. That means we close off to possibility and opportunity. Right now I see so much fear as people talk about the recession and the media goes wild with its panic-inducing coverage that people are closing themselves off to what could be possible. For instance, the minute someone declares that the economy is in tough times, people start milling around and shifting their conversations to what they can’t do. I can’t go on vacation. I can’t afford gas. I can’t afford to hire you right now. I can’t afford to invest in myself until I have the money. I can’t, I can’t I can’t. Well, what you focus on expands. Read the rest of this entry »