Paula and Kim

This week, we speak with Paula and Kim… they are living proof that the family that saves together stays together. Hear what they have to say about money and a long-term relationship.

How long have you been together?
14 years

How did money first come up in your relationship?
Paula: When we moved into our 1st townhouse together and my expenses rose (previously we shared my 1 room apartment which I had before Kim moved in)

Kim: When we moved in together trying to decide how to divide up the living expenses since I had given up my job and knew I wouldn’t be making as much money to contribute.

Checking and savings accounts: Joint or separate?
Separate checking, savings, investment. One joint savings account

What is your worst habit around finances?
Paula: Wanting to enjoy travel and finer things which, while I can afford them and still save money, they may keep me from maximizing savings and potentially reaching some goals. But, I figure, I need to live and enjoy as well.

Kim: Putting off balancing my accounts.

Do you rent or own and how do you divide the bills?
Own. We divide the bills proportionally based on salaries and % of total household income.

What is the best gift your mate has ever given you?
Paula: The time and space to pursue my personal and professional goals

Kim: Toss up between several vacations we’ve taken and our home.

Did your parents ever disagree about money? How did they handle it?
Paula: On occasion. My father usually controlled most of the money and bill paying but my mother contributed to the household income and collaborated with him on major financial decisions. The more common argument (particularly as I got older and out of the house) was the amount of time my father invested in career vs. home time. Once I got to be a teen, they made sure I knew how to handle my own bank accounts and taught me the value of saving.

Kim: My father pretty much was in charge of household finances but he made sure both my mother & I knew how to write checks and handle our accounts. Otherwise, money was never really discussed other than never carry a balance on your credit card.

What is your most significant memory about money?
Paula: At holidays and vacation time, even though my parent’s money was tight, my father would always say — if you want it, buy it (or if you want it, we’ll get it for you).

Kim: When I first started working in high school and the first paycheck I got — thinking that I earned this.

What is success?
Paula: Having an abundance. The “right” balance for me of time, money, love, happiness, health, etc. to not only feel like I have “enough” but also extra for a little luxury. And, to be able to do so earning a living doing work I love that provides me ample money AND meaning.

Kim: Success is being able to have everything in balance: money, health, love, and family.

What would you do with your life if money weren’t a consideration?
Paula: I would definitely be 100% self-employed pursuing my creative, adventure, and travel goals while living in a wonderful place overlooking the pacific ocean.

Kim: Have a house by the beach and travel.

What’s been your worst disagreement around finances?
Paula: The earning, spending, saving balance. Particularly arguing about the topic of credit card debt when it used to be an issue (we are and remain 100% credit card debt free). Bickering about saving and spending and working to align our mindset and goals while allowing our individual styles of handling money to be honored.

Kim: Saving versus spending.

What are your plans for retirement?
Paula: I really have no idea since it is so far off. I know what I DON’T want is to live my life focused on retirement as a holy grail like so many people I know do. While I respect the need to save for retirement (and do), I know the living is in today because you never know what the future holds.

Kim: Hard to say since I’m trying to enjoy & create a wonderful now. People so often put things off until retirement and then for one reason or another can’t enjoy it then.

How do you pamper each other?
Paula: Give each other time alone, hot baths, wine & good food, and snuggle time. Allowing each other the space to grow and evolve without feeling threatened.

Kim: I think the best thing we do is allow one another time alone. Also, hot baths, good food & wine and snuggle time.

Note: OK — They SWEAR they answered these questions separate without consulting. This is like the greeting card phenomenon where they shop alone & buy each other the same exact card.

About:
Paula is a life and business coach who specializes in helping lesbian business owners and professionals to achieve success on their own terms without the burnout and compromise. You can learn more about her and subscribe to her eZine at the Coaching4Lesbians blog and The Paula G Company website. In her spare time she loves spending time with Kim, cycling, hiking, kayaking, reading, food & wine, and hanging out with their 2 cats.

Kim is a Human Resources professional who is passionate about learning new things, gardening, food, wine, and travel. In her spare time she can be found reading, kayaking, hiking, gardening, creating arts & crafts, and spending time with Paula and the cats (aka “the kids”).

If you would like to be interviewed for future installments of Money & Mates, then please contact nina -at- queercents -dot- com.