“We shall stand or fall by television, of that I am sure.” — E.B. White

Rules of EngagmentIn my single days, I lived without television. I had a TV but it was on a metal cart (the kind once found in a 1950’s doctor’s office) and I would roll it out of the closet on the occasional night I wanted to watch a movie on DVD. This all changed when Jeanine and I moved in together.

The average American, according to Fortune magazine, now watches 4 Â ½ hours a day. Thank goodness that Jeanine is not the average American. She is a self-described CNN junkie and because of this, I admit that during these “partnered” years, Larry King has become my nightly “cocktail” helping me transition from work day to evening downtime. I typically turn him on as I prep dinner and wait for Jeanine to get home.

But we don’t really “watch” television like a lot of people. Sure, in the last year, we have caught an episode or two of The New Adventures of Old Christine, Ugly Betty and Sex and the City reruns but currently our only must-see show is The L Word on Showtime. CNN is why we pay for cable and The L Word is why we pay for the premium package. Our bill is over a hundred dollars a month after you tack on the high speed Internet service… I know, I know it goes against everything I otherwise preach on this site and try to practice in day-to-day life. But that’s the funny thing about relationships and merging two money personalities… you have to pick your battles and then decide to compromise in other areas.

Cable is one of the compromises and over the years, I’ve learned to let it go. Cable makes Jeanine happy so it’s worth the expense. If you do the math, the calculation comes out to about $20 an L Word episode, roughly the same price for us to go see a movie each week. We look forward to this experience each Sunday night and when we miss it, there’s the handy “on demand” feature as well as replays throughout the week.

When I travel, I call home and often catch Jeanine staying up late, watching Letterman, like a high schooler whose parents are out of town. Like I said, cable brings her joy. That’s not what this post is about. It’s about a new show on CBS called Rules of Engagement.

I only caught it because it aired on my flight last night on CBS Eye on American. The show is about two couples and their single friend played by David Spade. Audrey and Jeff, despite being together for 15 years, are complete opposites with their money styles.

The episode begins with Jeff asking Audrey if she forgot to enter something in their checkbook register and she replies, “Yes, it was for the exterminator and it was sixty-ish.” Jeff makes a notation and deadpans with, “Great, now everything is balanced-ish.”

He continues on by questioning her eye-cream purchase and the charge that showed up on their credit card statement. He asks, “Eighty-five dollars for eye-cream?” She shows him the super tiny container and he says, “What’s in there… eighty dollars?”

I laughed. I’m Jeff and Jeanine is Audrey. I balance my checkbook to the penny and Jeanine never even saves her ATM receipts. Hence, we keep our money separate. And it works for us. Don’t get me wrong… Jeanine is not a spend thrift. She has managed her money well. She’s just not as precise when it comes to financial things. I’m compulsive. She’s obsessive about other things; like selecting the right cheese to serve before a dinner party. We’re different. But different keeps it interesting.

The difference is that we agree on the big money things. We agree that we need to live within our means. We agree on our retirement goals and how we’ll meet them. We agree that the path to wealth is to earn passive income through cash-flowing rental properties. We both pride ourselves on maintaining excellent credit. Her scores are slightly higher and she forever likes to remind me of this fact in the face of my preciseness.

In my opinion, you have to agree on the big things and let go if you don’t always see eye-to-eye on the latte-factor. If she wants to spend $3.99 and be impulsive by buying People magazine at the check out stand, well, then so be it. It’s her money. If I want to spend $42 every few weeks to get a mani/pedi, then so be it. It’s my money.

So what do I consider to be the big things… here are a few examples:
1. Putting a cap on how much we’re going to spend on trying to get pregnant. We agree.
2. Waiting on remodeling our kitchen until we have the extra cash. This is the year that we can afford the new kitchen. We agree and we’re now getting quotes.
3. We want to buy another rental property, but we agree that we want 1-2 more than 3 right now. Three will likely move to next year.

The big stuff. What’s the saying: “Don’t sweat the small stuff?” I think it’s true with money and relationships. Do you agree?