This week’s Sleeping With Money lesson is a happy story about the romantic present and the optimistic future, with a little bit of brazen past thrown in the mix. It’s a story about my relationship with Zac, and how our coupling up resulted in a metamorphosis of our respective lifestyles and finances. When there’s a healthy connection in love, it turns out everything else in life gets better too.

LovebirdsA snapshot taken of me two years ago would likely catch me engaging in some nighttime rowdiness at a bar or club, or perhaps shopping to have something stylish for those nights out. Not too far from me in that same photograph would be Zac. We were friends before we started dating, although I had my eye on him the whole time I was going through boys like a box of tissues. Zac was even more of a notorious heartbreaker, however, so I kept a chilled exterior on my secret crush simply because I wanted to spare my pride. I assumed nothing would ever happen between us.

I’ll spare you the sordid details, but one drunken night later, we discovered exactly how compatible we are. I could write a book about the comedy of errors and heart-pounding suspense that unraveled in the six months between our first night of passion and when we started dating. However, all you need to know for now is that a deeper friendship developed and feelings for each other grew as we clumsily stumbled towards the plunge from friends to lovers.

It was a wonderful jump, and it’s been a glorious ride. But the saying about how change happens gradually then suddenly never rang more true than it does today.

This past weekend Zac and I attended a party hosted by a friend who sort of stands as a symbol of my younger and wilder days. Some guests brought more enticing offerings for the festivities. Zac and I came to the party with fresh homemade cookies in hand. They were wholesome, straight-forward cookies with rainbow M&M chips, and we baked them ourselves.

The weekend before that, we were at a nursery shopping for the perfect collection of shade-loving plants for our small patio. Zac and I quickly discovered we have a particular taste when it comes to patio gardens, and we felt the nursery was simply not up to snuff. That same day we bought some used books to figure out how to design the perfect city garden we had in mind. Our friends were out enjoying beers on a late Sunday afternoon, and we stayed at home learning about begonias and hostas while sipping on dessert wine.

Periodically I take a look at the posts I’ve been writing so that I can figure out what topic I should cover next. I see that I’m writing about ironing, casseroles, coupons, and it finally hits me! Zac and I have completely changed. When did we become so domestic?

There were signs, so many signs that Zac and I would end up living a renter’s version of the Better Homes and Garden lifestyle, but I was blissfully oblivious all this time. When we first started dating, we made elaborate dinners at each other’s apartment. Our trips for groceries became more frequent than visits to the club. Instead of looking for the next hot nightspot, we would search for comfort food recipes online. Rather than nursing a hangover on Saturdays and Sundays, we would spend weekend mornings reading the newspaper together over coffee.

The only thing that really mattered to us was spending time together. Our nights became tame with respect to the social scene. In the bedroom, things were and still remain, well, a bit wild.

I don’t want to give the wrong impression that we’ve been complete saints the whole time since we’ve been together. Zac and I were party boys, and to some extent, we still like to go crazy on the occasions we go out. The amazing difference is that even though domestic life has its hefty expenses, we’re financially better off than in our single days.

I get in tight spots because I’m paying off bills aggressively, but to me that’s so much better than spending on clothes, booze, cover charges and cab rides home. I’m not too far from being in a position to save money for a house and for a transition to self-employment. The closer I get to the milestone of paying off debt, the more real the possibility of saving becomes. I never thought I would get to this point until I started dating Zac. I consistently found myself in bad relationship after bad relationship, hoping that the money invested in nice dinners and weekend getaways would make me like a guy who was fundamentally wrong for me.

In contrast, Zac and I can make a wonderful time together out of any situation. Money doesn’t need to be spent to show our love, nor to keep us engaged in each other’s lives. There’s just something about us that allows each other to grow and flourish. I’m always impressed by how Zac stretches each dollar from his graduate student stipend. He inspires me to make the most out of the money I earn. And even though there’s a large gap between our salaries, we’re somehow able to strike a healthy balance for living within our own budgets.

Was it luck, a recipe for success, or the simple fact we have great communication that makes us work together so well? I’m not sure what it is, but if Zac and I could bottle what makes us thrive as a couple, we’d be very rich men.

One thing for sure is that I’m grateful for the journey I’m taking with Zac. I’m a bit surprised by where life has taken us thus far, but something tells me things will only continue to get better. Because like I said, when there’s a healthy connection in love, everything else get better, including finances. Even Martha Stewart would agree.