Love and Money‘œLove is a feeling, marriage is a contract, and relationships are work.’ ‘“ Lori Gordon

Jeanine and I typically pick only one show per week to watch on television. A few months ago it was Big Love. This fall it’s been HBO’s Tell Me You Love Me. I guess you can peg us as the ‘œrelationship’ drama types. Why we pay 100 plus dollars a month to watch one show a week is another story.

Tell Me You Love Me, noted for its realistic depiction of sex, revolves around three couples with intimacy issues. Each has their own reasons for seeking the help of a therapist, played by the lovely Jane Alexander, who happens to have issues with her husband. Go figure. There’s no such thing as the perfect partnership.

What’s unusual about the show is that money is never mentioned. Once, the fortysomething character with young kids and a mortgage complained about their therapy expense but that’s my only recollection of money being part of the story line. Isn’t money still a primary cause of divorce and nasty breakups?

I know my partnership still includes plenty of talk about money. Occasionally, it includes a fight over big things. Sometimes it’s just a disagreement about minor things. But usually it’s more about just being open and honest about our feelings and fears with money.

Typically, it boils down to priorities and how money is spent. Money magazine concurs with its reader survey:

Couples argue more about money than about sex, but not as much as they fight about the kids or taking out the garbage. 84% of our respondents note that money causes tension in their marriages, and 13% say they fight about money several times a month. The leading cause of dissension is disagreement about financial priorities.

Writers at HBO take note. Money is just as big of a deal as all that sex. Plus, consider this’¦ if the writers strike drags on, I’m certain their relationships will have newfound tensions to work out in their personal plot lines. After all, the compatibility factor is about more than what happens in bed.

We love to talk about this at Queercents as you may have noticed with our Sleeping With Money series. A few of my favorite episodes are:

So what about your relationships? Sex or money? Your comments are welcomed below.